Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
