Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
