fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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