thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
