New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
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