That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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