Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
