i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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