yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
