I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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