Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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