Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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