Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
