and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
