All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
