if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize