she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
