the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
