it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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