You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
