do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
