I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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