Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She's the barista slut.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
