That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
