So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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