In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Randomize
