Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
