well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
