Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
