I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Pooping to opera.
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