I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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