Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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