hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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