If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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