I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
