If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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