oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
