Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
