I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
