Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I am naked and annoyed.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
