i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
and you fell through a lawn chair
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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