life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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