So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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