If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
