If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
