i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
