you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
