He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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