There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
