I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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