I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
