She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
