How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
