just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
