Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize