If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
