idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize