I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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