Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
