i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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